I just came home from two weeks offline, away from Instagram and many other social media, and it felt like a storm rather than a peaceful transition back to reality. Is this my reality? Cuddle up with no single soul around, just me and my sofa-bed. It feels surreal. It felt like I’m back to the surviving mode again. How can the people I used to be surrounded by could be out of my life so quick? I know that they’re around somewhere in the city, but not sharing the same space at the same time with them just felt strange.
I don’t remember if he remembered, but I told him about the drop in emotions after you left the school. People care, and gave you so much attention, yet once they leave, they completely out of your life. Or so, you thought.
Is this the defensive mechanism you have built? If it is so I don’t want to be in this stage forever, even though I know this is the discomfort that we were all taught to face. Eventually, clinging on something so dear and meaningful is not sinful or bad. Accepting problems without doing anything about it however is not acceptable for me.
One thing though, I found astounding, is that there’s a growing number of followers on my blog. My intention with Qbooz has always been following the ideal of Expressionism, meaning that I would prioritize expressing my own thought over impressing anyone, but gosh you guys came to support! It’s something I would like to reflect and improve on continuously. I am learning how to ask for and take more feedbacks from others. I think that I am ready to grow again.
Self-love is great, until it grow into self-obsession. Being surrounded by others help me to understand that we all have our set of strengths and weaknesses, and it’s important to work with others to compliment those set of skills. I realized that I could potentially help more people and therefore learn more about my own capacities and uniqueness. That’s something I’m super excited about during the upcoming feel months.
There are just so many things that I CAN do, so I really need helps prioritizing everything. Until then, please let me know what you are wanting out of life. Best regards, and cheer to a happy weekend everyone!