I have a problem of connecting to people who I don’t really know on the Internet. After using Facebook a while, I stopped responding, just because we might have never had a real sufficient connection with each others in person. I have the problem of being disconnected, and now, although we are all connected, I felt like we can be even more disconnected than ever.
I run in and out constantly, shifting through the mode of being bold and being shy, being quiet and being energetic. The reckless inner child is still battling a jungle of hardship, and there was, at some points, I realized that I have grown a bit older than the other day. At some points, I realized that time flies by in a blink, a strain of thin air sucked out of vacuum. It disappears like that, and I really still question what happen to those time, those minutes, those moments – things that we could never get back.
We grew up, and constantly decaying at the same time. The vast universe is still expanding by the time some stars become dead. Are we racing? What are we racing for? Why are we decaying, if we have been given a chance to grow up? It’s a tough call isn’t it, to be constantly figuring out how we are going to survive and thrive, while knowing that our last bit of moment can be any moment at all.
We perhaps have to be dealing with constant dilemma of growing up. Can we truly grow, if we don’t fall? And if we do fall, or falling is an essential part to growing up, how can we get up? How can we untangle ourselves? How can we become stronger rather than become defeated? Because falling is, either by mistake or done with intention, can be hurtful and dangerous. So where do you get the energy to get up?
Growing up to the age of Internet is quite an experience. For me, it was about exploration, about discovery, creativity and innovation. The beginning age of Internet was full of wonder and marvelous. Now they are just full of predictable catches, and not so much deep thoughts to dive. Constant stimulation and lack of condensed, valuable stuff. So that’s why I want to grow out of it. Once again, move on to a new dimension, might be exciting, and though nothing can guarantee that I would ever be happy or satisfied again, I think it would be a great dare to step another bounce and truly pursue what’s great.
Motivation, wasn’t really what working for me. I realized then was the ability to just do the thing I desperately hate, and handle it with tenderness. I could learn to see boring stuff a bit more interesting. Maybe this boring life of being in a big city isn’t too bad. Maybe this boring life of not doing so much, and have a bit of security and peace is pretty great and entertaining. I feel like I have slowly been sinking into the lowering rate of growth period, which is sad to think and put in perspective, but felt like a comfortable thing to do. I’m doing what I was taught not to do, like a brainless sheep, sinking into the crowded narration of stuff, and enjoy being there looking out.
It’s not that I don’t want to explore anymore, but I’m longing for the things that I have losing touch of, and their images are comfortable and beautiful, and vivid. I’m still longing for it, it’s just not there with me at this moment.
As I acknowledge that I have not given in 100% effort of truly making these moments matter, I know that there’s hope.
How can you be productive on the Internet?
What does Artificial Intelligence mean to you?
How can you make the most out of your time spending on the Internet?