Every great people went down in history with lots of mistakes

Failures and success

There you go, I said something silly again. It’s two months in and I still want to say Happy New Year, 2020. I wished I have published a few more articles. I wished I would have started that part time job. I wished I would have started to contact that important person. I thought I was about to start the year with the oddest way imaginable, and I thought I have gained a very great momentum to achievements this coming year. Have a vision, an actionable plan, and stay chillax in the moment, they say.

This year is special in its way for hosting my first 20s year of my life. 2020.

2020. What a beautiful number. I was quite more ready to suffer than ever. I thought I was done tasting the leisure. Or maybe because 2018 was a shit hole then 2019 seemed to be much better and I am still not so over the fact that I was super hyped for the year. Anyway. Stay grounded. Stay freaking grounded. Have you found me cursed before? Now you have found me. But I remembered SNL muted curse words, so I might mute mine too.

Anyway it was a lovely expression.

A month ago I was a bit tired of having too much superficial fun. Like, no. I was bored. I was on the mood to seek personal suffering this year. See how it turn out. Hello challenges please slap me in the face again, then I would be having a lot of fun to deal with. Just don’t die in 2020. That’s my new year resolution.

One month in and there were a lot of pain in the ass kicked in.

Wildfire in the West and East. Corona Virus spreaded. Sea level rises. How all of the sudden (really?). Now everything is canceled. Everybody is moaning for help. All the headlines aren’t that celebrated, nobody dances in the bar anymore. All the amazing posts on Instagram aren’t that flattered to me, as they ignore the crippling fear of infection spreading all over the places. People might fall down anytime soon. Meanwhile we are all pretending the worst shouldn’t come.

But we need to prepare for the worst, embrace it with a fearless soul. We might be decisive and not surrender to be weakened. We must take every chance to strengthen our body and our heart. More than ever, we must spread positivity. We must not let worry deceive our will to persist. We must evolve.

I wanted to be challenged this year. The winners are the one who can live through turbulence and chaos. Then there I have it. Now I wish I would pass this, and everybody else would do so too.

What do I need now? What’s the next best move? Where am I at? Is this the right track? Am I going to the right direction? Is it going to be like this? Well it’s hard to say, but I would say my family has my back, and I am so much grateful for that. Really at this point, they are the source of my light and encouragement.


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