Take a break

My week was finally done. I’m now home. Back to this quiet town. So quiet, I thought I was in another dimension, in another world. I thought it would be so much more exciting. Yet, everything stay indifferent, as expected as before. Not so much of a surprise.

My parents are spending much time reading news and chilling these days. They are in great health, and as caring as always. Yet, my brother is posing another concern for me. He’s in his mind most of the time. He’s not the obedient child my parents would like him to be. He has a lot of potentials, I know, but somehow, it’s just not reflected through his acts. The way he moves full of helplessness, not because he was born that way, but because it felt like he was caged in a safety net. I felt a bit pitiful for him, and for myself for feeling so. After all, I want him to be something too, like someone who I would admire, and possess great characteristics. Helplessness is one that I despite strongly, and I want to find a way to help him fixing it, although I wouldn’t completely blame him for being so at the first place.

A day back home and although I know I need to take a break, I’m already bored. I don’t want to do the thing people expect me to do yet, and that’s what I mean by taking a break. I want to spend more time being reflective and thinking about what I have done, what I have accomplished, the scopes, the scales, the impacts of them so far. It’s silly to move on mindlessly into the unknown, while you could have learnt so much from what you have experienced and witnessed. This is the moment I have been waited for a long time. This is the moment of luxury, of serenity I have yielded for since coming to Tokyo last August.

So must to put down into words.

And here was the schedule for my activities:

12 Meeting @ 6:30 pm 
13 Prepare for the event on 17, 18, 19 – 10 am go to AISEC
14 Free
15 UM from 12
16 Preparation for the two events
17 Home visiting + SF reheasal
18 SF + farewell
19 Scholarship ceremony and career seminar

By the way, I have only purchased a few self-help books. I would definitely read them again with a new method from now on, after realizing that I have never really put them into actions, like Marianne Power has also said in her reflective articles about self-help books. At least they gave me a base, a bucket list of principles that might have worked for someone else. I need to revise my goal this year, and years after. I need a Tequila next to the beach.


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