I was sad, and bored, and feeling childish, helpless and ulterly purposeless.
So I tried to imagine that I was a protagonist in a cliche superhero movie. But then that dream far short when reality hits.
Who do I want to be, at the age of 20?
I called Ashley not so long ago and had a meaningful talk with her about the current stage of our friendship. It was the moment when we both reflected on our side, and gave honest criticism and feedback on where we were as friends, and talked about the problems we were facing. She was very considerative. To me there were a few precious human beings on this Earth whom I can feel completely comfortable to weird out and act like a hothead child with. Ashley was definitely one of them, and that was why I’m so thankful for her.
It’s late night and it’s 1:07 AM. I might look back at this time of my life as a rough curve, which added a little taste to the roll. If it’s flat, I can’t handle my boredom. I’m scared of my boredom than my fear, so I would say, that is the greatest blessing. So yes, I’m bored, and I’m scared of being bored more than being anything else. I think boredom is the greatest plague.
I had a “grand” release a few days ago, when I opened a Society6 shop with my design on, and it was funnily a flop. People loved them, my friends were cheering for them, and they were already curious about whether I have made any sale just yet. Of course, I didn’t expect any sale. The goal was to put it out there, on a physical, tangible one, and to test the market’s high bar. It was definitely a learning lesson, and I was content about the reaction of the mass. There was barely any expectation for it to be sold right away. I told my bud that I haven’t even started yet, and that was it. It was a trial.
It was also funny that when I try to reread my blog, it sounds ridiculous, hilarious, and immature. Someone would definitely judge me so hard for this, but hey girl, at least I put the effort into making it look neat and tidy. I think that’s where my “talent” lies: Spatial superiority.
Ashley was quite happy that I was drawing everyday. I was happy too. I felt it was finally a right thing to keep doing, since I’m very much enjoy it.