In a room filled with emptiness

In a room filled with emptiness, I wanted to do nothing
Why am I in this mood of non-existing
I’m sitting here overwhelmed with quietness

Don’t want to think about you
Just want to wrap my head around all the fun things I have always wanted to
Have done everything acceptable in term of social perspective
I have won their respect
But it doesn’t matter to me

Now what?

I couldn’t truly live it, the success that I didn’t make
Though it wasn’t fake
I’m stuck in the moment
Stuck in the hole I have jumped in
The hole I didn’t carve

It’s 6 months back and forth, and I’ve learned harsh stuff
I want to carve out the dust
Making way onto the wall
I want to be somewhere new, somewhere fun, somewhere meaningful

What do I value?
Courage

What do I need? Taking action and adventure

We had fun

Now, I am thankful for myself that I have tried so much

Have done so much

Yes, you have made mistake
Yes, you have won the respect of your people
Yes, you are independent
Yes, you have fallen and got up
Yes, you are strong and confident
Yet, they say you not to rush

Yet, they say you need to fucking calm down

But

There’s so much more that you are worth it
There’s so much more to try
There’s so much more to learn
There’s so much more mistake to make
There’s so much more to take action
There’s so much more to wrap my mind around with
There’s so much more
I realize I don’t really have a routine
I can’t have a routine
And that’s just me
But I would try to put things I need to do everyday anyway
I would try to make it work
I would try to have enough sleep
I would try to brush my teeth and take shower
I would try to eat healthy and drink enough 
Those are just basic things I forgot
I would try to work independently

And fill myself with enthusiasm, and a determination to move forward

Worst is that I die
But that won’t happen
I would rather die than not trying my best
Fame doesn’t matter to me, to be honest
But maybe I would still be needy
I just care so much about getting over the boundary
They say I was being silly
But in fact I was running rocket
For most part people keep judging too much
Because I won’t ever listen
And I don’t do because others do
I do it because I want it
I do it because of me
Sitting in the room filled with emptiness

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